Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Hell In A Hole

Where in hell is the baking soda?

I ransacked the cupboard, even my mum’s toiletry cabinet, in search for that old familiar Arm and Hammer box I swore I had seen days ago. Or was I just hallucinating having seen it while my tongue hurt like it was cut and burned at the same time. Wait. Baking soda? Don’t I used baking soda for some of my pastry recipes? I do! So I searched the plastic boxes that held baking ingredients. Baking powder, cream of tartar — Wait! Why is the third container empty? Damn it. Of all the times to run out of baking soda.

Yes, I am suffering from an aphthous ulcer, more commonly known as canker sore. I woke up this morning with that burning in my tongue, not that I was the slightest bit surprised. I had known I was going to get a canker sore two days ago, when my teeth started feeling weird—like they were growing or something. I knew it was going to be torture when my teeth felt sharp—a tell-tale sign that my mouth was in for a sore or two. Luckily, I only have one ulcer, not that it’s any less painful than if I had two, trust me.

The open sore is conveniently located on the side of my tongue, where a tooth can happily rub its edges to it every time I speak or eat. The slightest tongue movement agitates the pain.  I hardly ate anything today. I hardly spoke. All I wanted to do was pull my tongue out and replace it with a new one. Discomfort is an understatement. The pain is unbearable enough that I wouldn’t wish it to my worst enemy. OK, that may be untrue. I would so like this pain inflicted on a few people, if only to satiate my craving for revenge. But that’s another thing.

I gargled saline solution and mouthwash countless times already. I’ve tried to appeased my tongue with cold—no! freezing—water, and yes it worked but only for a very short period. As soon as the cold wears off, the pain comes back.

I can’t think clearly. I haven’t had a canker sore in a long time that I completely forgot how it feels.

A teaspoon of baking soda would be so helpful right now. It’s for making a paste that I could dab on the ulcer to prevent it from getting worse, and to alleviate the pain. Oh the pain! I’m taking Decilone Forte first thing in the morning if my tongue doesn’t feel any better.