Monday, September 29, 2008




My feet had been itching for a reason to get out of the house, and my mind had been so eager to leave its current dull platform that when a friend SMS-ed me for a meet-up it didn’t take more than three seconds to say ‘yes’. I was surprised that I didn’t have to wait forty-eight years for my friend to arrive. She was already waiting outside the cafe, saying goodbye to her new boyfriend, when I arrived. And as soon as the he was out of earshot, I started teasing.

“Mind your own business!” a friend demanded.

Whatever. I cackled. She sat on an alfresco seat while I stood fidgeting for no particular reason.

"Sit down."

"I like standing," I snapped.

She was starting to spill the details of the date when another friend  arrived, complaining of an allergy due to an antibiotic he’d taken to relieve the pain caused by tonsillitis. He was itching all over his arms and legs.

As always, deciding what to have was a tough decision. In the end, I opted for brewed coffee. It was the better choice over iced coffee since the coldness of the night had started to seep through my skin.

Like in any other session, our conversation was random. And of course, each of us had something to put on the table for discussion. I am still amazed at how we are able to talk about things with unabashed openness. It keeps a smile on my face. It’s one of the reasons why I try not to miss out on barkada sessions. There’s always something interesting to talk about. There’s always a sense of comfort. And like in every session, there was laughter. Tons of laughter about seemingly childish things and anything else we could find a spot to poke at. I also like that we are able to laugh at each other and ourselves without reservations.

Now, I think I’ve written enough to conclude that my muse still has not returned to claim his territory.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Interview with the Vampire


How would you describe your state of mind?
• An open state of mind tinged with ideals instilled by various seeds.
What colour best describes your life?
• Blue. It’s neutral—can describe both the light and dark shades of my life.

Why do roses have thorns?
• Because it can’t be any other way.

If you were a fictional character, who would you be? Why?
• Sydney Bristow. I like kicking ass. And I'd like to stretch my limits with all the action-packed lifestyle and emotional torture of having a double life. And of course, being able to speak 25 languages is just awesome. I also get to kill bad guys. Plus, I get full dental insurance.

If you were to confess only one sin to god, what would it be?
• You’re no god, so i guess I'll have to keep it to myself.

What is your greatest fear?
• I have three: fear of losing my sanity, fear of forgetting my value as a person, and fear of losing the ability to communicate with people.

What do you value most in friends?
• Untainted loyalty, the willingness to keep both feet in.

What supernatural ability would you like to have?
• orbing

What makes you angry?
• injustice, apathy, being taken for granted

When are you happiest?
• when I'm with the people I love

What is your philosophy in life?
• something by Robert von musil, “one does what one is; one becomes what one does.”

Write your epitaph.
• Here lies only what he cannot take—his body.

Would you rather be feared or loved?
• Without question, be loved without question.

What event most shaped your character?
• Everything that happened to me contributed, by default, to whoever I am today. And for me it’s not all just the events that shape one’s character, it’s also the people around him.

What is your earliest childhood memory?
• Playing pogs, warm evening baths infused with guava leaves, watching The Uncanny X-men, listening to my grands’ vinyl records, reading bible stories, dreaming i could fly.

Have you ever witness a miracle? or seen something that could not be explained? If so what was it?
• Yeah. Ordinary miracles. It’s a miracle I'm still sane.

Do you believe in the afterlife?
•I'm quite ambivalent about it. But we have to believe in something, don’t we?

What place would you most like to travel to?
• Morocco—to experience the midnight market; India—higher consciousness; California—to satiate debauchery; Greece—for hermoupolis; Paris—shopping; London—to take walks along its alleys; Italy—pasta at its best; China—visit Kutong village.

Do you support same sex marriage? Why or why not?
• No. Marriage is instituted for a man and a woman. And besides, marriage is just a documentation of a union. Gay couple—or not—should not try to justify their love through paper. Gay couple should not think that their getting married will engender society’s approval, because there will always be people who cannot—and will refuse to—draw the difference between gender and sexual preference, let alone accept pink affairs.

What changes would you like to see made in our government?
• I don’t want to see changes, I want to feel it.

Who or what is your biggest inspiration in life?
• This is going to sound like a broken record, but Alanis has always been a huge, huge inspiration to me. Also, my wanting to leave an imprint in people’s lives is another force that drives me, and my need to be the difference that I seek within.

Do you believe you can learn from elderly persons?
• Yes, of course. And they should also avow that they can learn from the younger people. Just because they’re older doesn’t mean they’re wiser all the time.

Do you think prisons reform people?

• No. Prisons only contain people. Reform doesn’t come from containment, it comes from the people themselves—their willingness.

Do you believe in global warming?
• Honey, I feel it so I believe it.

Do you think space exploration is necessary?
• Honestly, no. Space exploration, I think, is purely to quench human’s quest for information, to try to understand that which is out of our grasp. I think people should attend to what can really change lives. Like finding cure for certain illness, saving the environment, putting an end to famine, giving real education.

Do you think world peace is possible?
• In another planet, maybe. Unless people stop being chauvinists, world peace is just an illusion.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Whining Over Coffee



mugs, cigarettes, paper and pen
frustrations over lack-ness
seemingly harmless offense,
pacts leaving promises
hovering over lattes

he’s too hard to be forgiving
my knees blistered
unaccepted apologies and
unrelenting silence

we share bubbles, sheets, taps on the shoulder
yet she’s so distant
while i talk she wanders

bitter, familiar unrest within
failures in reach

i am still breathing

Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Last Dance

last dance


he walked around the body
very pleased with the destruction
he caused on her.
she lay naked on the floor
unable to move
her breasts smashed like pumpkins
no longer giving.
her legs, apart
blood running from her thighs
no longer flawless
with cigarette burns.
her soft hands last touched his face
without anger
without regret
her hands cut like meat for grilling.
he looked back
face bland with satisfaction
he looked her straight in the eyes,
she looked back and he could hear
the hazel buttons scream
if he was to speak, his mouth would refuse
words but laughter.
her vulva,
her once pinkish bud
now swells with blood.
the forehead spelled 'bitch'
he carved with his fountain pain.
the blood oozed from the cut
and soaked her hair as it spread.
from her lips, broken glasses
he forced her to chew.
he took a puff from his cigarette,
threw the butt to where she lay
she was still breathing
he could hear her gasping.
she still breathes, he thought.
it was good.
he needed her alive
to slowly die.
a quick blow is too sweet,
too forgiving.
he ran his eyes one last time
over her and turned away.